tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284702088829284022012-02-10T22:05:43.239-06:00This is about me... a person who will, if I have any control at all, continue to grow and learn about life and living. NOTE: This blog recommends that you either sign your name of have a link that can go back to either a profile or an actual page. NO ONE POSTS UGLINESS - THIS IS MY SPACE - NOT YOURS! IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE NASTY, BE PREPARED TO GET A RESPONSE THAT YOU MAY NOT LIKE.Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.comBlogger11851100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-58760445494730261272012-02-10T08:34:00.002-06:002012-02-10T08:34:45.817-06:00

A lot of people just won't get this, that's okay, I mean, we are all different right?  I am seriously homesick.....  I miss the bright sunlight and beautiful sand of home.... Okay, yeah, I live in the land of hard woods and farms, bullfrogs and tadpoles, deer and ducks, but I miss home.  I miss the sand, rocks and wind of the desert.  I miss being able to take a walk at midnight and not getting

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-59881211702054692472012-02-07T09:44:00.002-06:002012-02-07T09:44:33.248-06:00

Well, I took a little break and will probably not be writing a lot on line for a bit.  I got to spend a few days in the hospital and it wore me out.  I don't know about other people but I rarely get enough healing sleep in the hospital and when I am running a high temp it gets worse because it all runs together into crazy mixed up memory/dream mish moshes.... So, I had this breast reduction...

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-11138103768958443272012-02-02T10:03:00.000-06:002012-02-02T10:05:23.095-06:00

Yesterday, in the midst of arguing about my truck with the guy that was working on it, worrying about my niece and her life choices, being discouraged by my nephews and their complete lack of empathy for others...... I found that I was still learning about me, the people that touch and have touched my life and life in general. First, I never claim to be a Christian.... I'm not.  That doesn't

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-35787735351288450162012-01-29T10:52:00.002-06:002012-01-29T10:52:50.262-06:00

I noticed something in the "adoption" community that kind of leaves me wondering.  I know that I can't possibly crawl into the head of an adoptee to get the answers, even if the one answer fit all adoptees situations, so all I can do is observe, ask, comment and listen. So here goes, I noted that a lot of adoptees appear to be unable to be patient when they want something.  Particularly when it

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-91787042811596904932012-01-26T10:09:00.001-06:002012-01-26T10:09:33.729-06:00

Well, having had two major surgeries in the last 2 years, I am now understanding what the term "surgical exhaustion" means...... okay, I made it up, but you get the gist.  After my roux - n - y (no, I really don't know how to spell it correctly), I was tired but I hurt so much I didn't notice.  So, no big deal, right? This time, less pain - tons less - but OMG am I tired.  I haven't wanted to do

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-11153705001714354762012-01-22T18:49:00.002-06:002012-01-22T18:49:49.681-06:00

I find it interesting how many people don't realize how much the idea of "divine right" has done to our world.  After all, most people don't really even understand what that concept really means.  This belief that somehow the universe, or the ruling gods for whatever culture is involved, has given individuals the "right" to do things that are not normally considered anyone else's right.  The idea

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-51018799552598986482012-01-20T08:42:00.003-06:002012-01-20T08:42:49.735-06:00

I don't know how other people feel.  I don't think anyone truly does.  After all, none of us share what we are thinking as if speaking every single thought.  But I do know how I feel.......  I feel like the elephant in the room.  I always have.  I know, it sounds pretty pathetic, but it is true.  We can all talk about how people are going to react, since the human species is fairly predictable.  

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-27034183347349545962012-01-19T19:53:00.001-06:002012-01-19T19:53:58.930-06:00

Well, the surgery is over, the tubes are out.... and I am still learning how to stand and sit up straight again.  I have wraps and gauze over my entire chest - changed daily of course and things are going swimmingly! You know, you think all that nonsense about how you have this work done and a week later it is lovely - BULL - LOL - it takes months for the entire shape and finished product to

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-80627295873477350482012-01-17T08:48:00.000-06:002012-01-17T08:50:02.779-06:00

I have noted that a lot of first mothers don't realize that the "adoption" that most people talk about is not about them.  In fact, we are a peripheral entity when it comes to adoption.  At least that is my point of view.  Much like raised children and relatives, mothers are often an after thought in the adoption community - beyond being information givers and sources.  This sound like I am being

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-20826647780626532932012-01-11T17:29:00.000-06:002012-01-11T17:29:46.579-06:00

This is the most real statement I have ever read regarding how it truly effects the mother and family of an adoptee. I hope it reaches someone and lets them know what is really going to happen or is happening.The Silent Birth Mother: The Ripple Effect

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-41555362199557420492012-01-11T15:28:00.001-06:002012-01-11T15:28:47.020-06:00

I know that a lot of people won't get this, but I do have a ton of regrets for some things I have said and written over the years.  Things told to people that really didn't need to be said or shared with anyone.  Some of them I wrote on here - like the meanness and anger after my husband died.  Some I said to people in a thoughtless manner.  I honestly don't feel as if these things can be taken

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-43324133383797960822012-01-10T20:09:00.001-06:002012-01-10T20:09:25.991-06:00

For the last week, no, more like for the last 5 years, I have been unsettled in myself and in life.  So much has happened in these years that it became a blur of unhappy/happy strange happenings that it began to throw me back into the craziness of being a foster care kid.  That afraid of your shadow and sure life is going to crap on you place that never seems to cut you a break. Then, in the

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-58076747377317230792012-01-10T12:27:00.000-06:002012-01-10T12:27:30.358-06:00

My daughter thinks I lie when I say that she was taken without cause. I wish she would watch this. This is not new or even remotely unknown - it is real and it happens all the time.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-79781668132267882052012-01-08T22:21:00.001-06:002012-01-08T22:21:03.710-06:00

I was thinking about this today.  The idea that we all, at times, wish something that happened in our lives was just a dream.  I definitely do. I wished that I was dreaming for a lot of my life.... adoption would not exist death would not exist.... Have you ever wished this too?

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-74499862705779370592012-01-06T08:35:00.001-06:002012-01-06T08:35:45.720-06:00

Recently I noted a gentle reminder (to another mother on her blog) that sometimes things that are written by a particular mother can be hurtful to the adoptee.  I honestly believe that is true.  I also noted, on the same blog entry, that a large number of adoptees felt it was necessary to vilify the "offending" mother. What I did not see was a lot of mothers standing up and saying "okay, we get

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-58201433707535657802012-01-04T09:20:00.002-06:002012-01-04T09:20:45.847-06:00

A lot of the time, I wonder why I bother to write.  Yesterday, after I read some of the comments made on another Mothers blog, I debated simply not writing anything else.  After all, who wants to get beat up all the time?  Yet, here I am, writing..... I write, after all, for me.  In the end it doesn't matter if my thoughts or opinions are agreed with or disagreed with, only that I write them

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-42529562058047207092012-01-01T22:16:00.001-06:002012-01-01T22:16:03.881-06:00

I am always amazed at the insanity that seems to occur during certain parts of the year, particularly when adoption is involved.  Besides the normal birthday insanity, of course, there seem to be particular times of the year when adoption related persons - mothers and adoptees - fly apart. The holidays - HUGE - seem to be the biggest culprit.  I know that each year, either right before or right

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-53270836231960077052011-12-30T22:06:00.000-06:002011-12-30T22:06:11.199-06:00

Something that surprises me, at least in a way, is the way that a lot of mothers get crapped on once they give the adoptee the "info" that they think is all important.  The medical info I see as a right.  After all, we all need accurate medical information for our own good health.  But other info is often extremely personal and unnecessary for the well-being of the individual - beyond basic

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-21402862401567588482011-12-28T20:12:00.001-06:002011-12-28T20:12:19.451-06:00

Well, this is personal, but I am SO excited!  For those that know, I had a gastric bypass about 2 years ago.  I have lost around 150 to 160 lbs at this point and while it is great, it has left me with other issues.... One of my biggest issues is back problems - not little ones, but huge ones.  I am shrinking to the tune of a lot at one time and not just in weight size, but in height.  So, the

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-65918216722653385192011-12-27T23:02:00.000-06:002011-12-27T23:02:04.750-06:00

A lot of times I hear mothers talking about people that find out that they are "birth" mothers and how the whole relationship changes.  I get that... truly.  Not too long ago I had that same experience... in spades.  It is one of my pet peeves.  This judgmental behavior. I had a friend for almost 40 years.  I went to 6th grade with her and our children are 6 months apart.  When my daughter was 3

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-88805382655114639502011-12-27T09:14:00.000-06:002011-12-27T09:14:22.620-06:00

I guess I am up to my ears with adoption.... I watched "Rizzoli & Isles" last night and it hit hard.  Isles is this brainiac that is the medical examiner.  She is an adoptee.  Her biological father is a Irish mobster and her biological mother is an unknown. Last night, the adoptive mother gets run down by a car and, oddly, the bio dad shows up in the hospital room and talks to her while she is

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-45536674843542801072011-12-24T17:51:00.002-06:002011-12-24T17:51:34.288-06:00

Okay, so my sister and her kids came by for Yule celebration with me, which is traditional around here.  That way I can spend the day before, the day of and the day after Christmas in peace and quiet.  It is fun and funny! The kids like to eat.... and eat..... and we take really bad silly pictures, like: I am seriously shrinking!  *including height! And this: She is always cold! And

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-42610707628791263122011-12-22T15:23:00.001-06:002011-12-22T15:24:53.415-06:00

Today, after trimming the tree yesterday, my niece and her friend arrived to bake cookies.  Cheerful and full of laughs, they mixed and baked..... Bringing laughter to the house... now I need some down time!  To lay around and reset the old brain into work mode for tonight! More Yule joy another day!

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-70286171356050385862011-12-22T08:32:00.000-06:002011-12-22T08:32:02.771-06:00

So, the grinchyness is almost gone.... nothing like a new med to keep the peri-menopause hormones under control... and off I go into a new adventure of baking with my niece.  Today, since I have appointments and work, we are going to work together to get some peanutbutter, oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies done. Yesterday - peppermints and the decorations (I don't do a lot in that forum). I

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-10889241448395849442011-12-21T19:49:00.001-06:002011-12-21T19:49:11.996-06:00

I have a lovely aluminum pot that is heavy enough for jelly and candy.  My mother-in-law gave me this pot almost 30 years ago.  It is a restaurant quality piece and it was sad that it was looking pretty much like it was time to let it go. Tonight, as I made my first batch of peppermint creams (that did not turn out well, I allowed it to cool too much), I was discouraged even further because it

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-77845603568497628152011-12-21T18:50:00.001-06:002011-12-21T18:50:05.186-06:00

The mints are made, The cookies baked, The dip is tasty, The drinks are lovely, Yule is here today. May Yule bring path to a brighter tomorrow! Happy YULE!

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-44663977775256432092011-12-20T10:20:00.001-06:002011-12-20T10:20:15.216-06:00

Today, washing my hands and face this morning actually, I almost lost my wedding rings.  Which is kind of funny, when you think about it.... I hadn't worn my wedding rings in over 25 years.  Right after my husband died, I found the ring box as I was wandering through things in the house and wondered if I would ever wear them again. After my gastric surgery I again found my ring box and decided

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-42107209323356920502011-12-17T22:09:00.000-06:002011-12-17T22:09:02.647-06:00

Something that struck me in the last few days was that a lot of my adoptee friends get very offended because I don't follow the "norm" behaviors for mothers.  I don't and won't.  I would like to say that there is this huge involved reason, that somehow there is something wrong with me, but in fact there isn't. Reality is that my daughter hates me.  She has made this very clear.  At the same time

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-20114685933204838172011-12-17T17:45:00.000-06:002011-12-17T17:45:26.215-06:00

Okay, now, without all the extras, I am just going to ask.... Why is it that I am not allowed to be angry?  What difference does it actually make if I am angry?  Why do I have to justify my feelings? Hmm?

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-19176510795020992962011-12-17T11:07:00.002-06:002011-12-17T11:07:30.630-06:00

This is to inform you that I will no longer be partaking in your particular brand of insanity.  While I appreciate that you are performing a service, I must decline to be included. It is not that I don't appreciate your lovely t.v. ads about tampons and deodorant, or the half-naked teenagers strutting around in underclothes that are not designed for real women.  It is because I no longer need to

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-66694271041637786502011-12-16T11:21:00.001-06:002011-12-16T11:21:59.211-06:00

Okay, since I know that I won't get many responses and while I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I have to ask. Why can't I be angry? Seriously.... Every time I put out into the ether the idea that adoptees need to grow up and realize that it is a two way street someone responds with the idea that I am pissed off at all adoptees.  While this may or may not be a reasonable assumption, it

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-54057189573145109812011-12-15T22:38:00.001-06:002011-12-15T22:38:30.796-06:00

Okay, so this is holiday number 2 without my husband.  Last year was tough.... but for some idiotic reason I felt the need to try to be "normal."  I even had a Yule party... for the Christians that don't get it, it is celebrated on Winter Solstice and is about the year changing over.... This year, the tree sits on the dining room floor... still in the box.  I don't know that I want to bother.  

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-64935545615670161512011-12-13T21:45:00.001-06:002011-12-13T21:45:27.197-06:00

It's funny... since my husband passed away I have learned more from him than ever.  Maybe that is why people say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.... Because when they are gone, you discover exactly what they really meant to you. Anyway, something that struck me this evening was that my husband really must have loved me.  One thing that was truly crazy.... Carlos always said that the

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-39214447723548180212011-12-13T12:22:00.000-06:002011-12-13T12:22:05.323-06:00

Again I am reading a ton of stuff about how mothers are supposed to be mothers - no matter what..... What do I mean by that?  Well, it's simple and complex at the same time. Adoptees are supposed to be the center of all adoption/reunion activities.  Their feelings, wants, desires and needs must be paramount.  They were the "wronged" parties in adoption.  After all they had "no choice" in being

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-83336726375173769312011-12-12T09:42:00.001-06:002011-12-12T09:42:31.785-06:00

Over on The Declassified Adoptee, Amanda talked about her issues as an adoptee with fertility issues and her being able to be sensitive to the adoptive mother's feelings regarding her fertility issues.  Over all, very respectful and nice.  But, since I am on the other side of that and a woman that had fertility issues, I thought it would be nice to hear that side as well. First, before anyone

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-66273475474588238262011-12-11T08:58:00.001-06:002011-12-11T11:27:55.808-06:00

Okay, this subject is something that is near and dear to my heart and beliefs.  If you are a parent that believes that they have a "handle" on their children's sexuality - leave now because if you comment from the "living in a dark closet and not seeing the truth" corner, I will hammer you between the eyes.  Just thought I would put that out there. SEX - yes - sex, you know that stuff you keep

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-7851642857461097782011-12-09T17:50:00.001-06:002011-12-09T17:50:39.159-06:00

I read this article and wondered - are those the regrets of the dying or are they the regrets of those left behind..... What do you think? Regrets of the Dying

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-9079406727590449502011-12-09T08:30:00.001-06:002011-12-09T08:40:59.184-06:00

Some things haven't changed since the beginning of time.  One of those things is the male/female relationship and the issues that surround it... why is that?  I have this theory that kind of follows the "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" deal, except it is mostly women are normal and men are from Mars.... ROFLMAO..... Here is what I usually hear people doing: Woman (in the kitchen):  

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-15465897228259832252011-12-09T08:26:00.001-06:002011-12-09T08:29:56.637-06:00

Lately I have been hammered with end-of-term classwork and working (yeah, I know, pissy little job but someone has to do it), so I haven't been blogging much.  The insanity of writing a huge paper - after 2 other papers (not so huge) in the term is kind of wearing.  Not complaining, mind you, just wondering if my brain will ever settle.... LOL So, here I am, what my nephew calls "the sleep when

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-62944941907078055642011-12-06T22:32:00.001-06:002011-12-06T22:41:00.878-06:00

Okay, for those that don't know it, I did a youtube on relinquishment and mothers.  I got a lot of comments from people that didn't get it.... seriously.  And a few from what appear to be men or adopters that make the entire thing about them. Well tonight, I got a very nasty comment from a man... obviously one that is pissed off about his rights as a father and is probably pro-adoption.... I

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-62416428497391681792011-12-05T12:06:00.001-06:002011-12-05T12:24:38.763-06:00

One of the things that haunts me is the way that social services took my child.  You see, unlike a lot of people, in fact most people, that lose their kids to the system, I never had a complaint or even a report of abuse.  I know, sounds nuts right? The thing is when you are a foster child you are automatically assumed to be "damaged."  So, when you are a foster child that gets pregnant, the

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-6262087029760911652011-12-04T21:42:00.001-06:002011-12-04T21:43:40.265-06:00

So, tonight as I worked at my little job, I found that the chairs are going to kill me and Mother Nature has a very twisted sense of humor. Now, I am using hot and cold to make my back almost bearable. ..... and wondering if the snow is going to kill me tomorrow. The truck is now in 4wd and will probably stay there for the duration of the winter - this snow is just slimy, but not deep - so

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-28009109109997500282011-12-03T16:47:00.001-06:002011-12-03T17:45:40.237-06:00

Last night, knowing that this weekend is going to be a snow filled OMG not again weekend... I planned for an early morning.  I got up, put things that I will miss - like my barbecue grill- into the shed, then ran over to pick up the snowblower.... It was a hectic morning, lots of ice, cold as all get out (warming - which makes snow a big issue) and got through the necessary evils of the day....

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-5454860517695608892011-12-02T10:23:00.000-06:002011-12-02T10:34:03.610-06:00

I wondered what my husband saw in this music..... Then I realized that while a lot of it is ballad style love songs, it applies so much to so many situations..... When I first talked to my daughter.... this is kind of the way I felt..... Time passed, insanity began to rule... and this is more like what I feel like now...

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-23746055111575789942011-12-01T22:36:00.001-06:002011-12-01T22:40:48.819-06:00

Okay, so this evening a couple of things struck me as either funny or ironic..... Irony - realizing that all the years that you spent yelling at old people about leaving their turn signals on, you are now the old person that left the turn signals on! Complaining all summer about the porch light that never gives enough light to find your key or the key hole - then complaining all winter because

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-1664523041983342992011-12-01T11:15:00.001-06:002011-12-01T11:17:32.004-06:00

This morning, as I spoke to my sister about something on the phone, I look out the window and what is happening!  Snow... you know that horrible white stuff that looks beautiful on a card or picture! Yes, the winter has finally decided that now is the time to make me want to scream.... So, as my knee pounds me with pain and my back does this low moaning hiss, I think "next year - I AM MOVING

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-32465962078044043142011-12-01T00:01:00.001-06:002011-12-01T00:03:25.644-06:00

Okay, so I like "Covert Affairs" - and not for Piper - LOL!  So, the last show was truly interesting.... First a hot, Red-headed Scotsman was the guest... Second, the show was shot in DC - around the time I was there in early August!  I know because the Castle (Smithsonian) was under construction in the area shown and the huge reflecting pool between the Washington and Lincoln monuments was

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-51969147407609088432011-11-30T09:21:00.001-06:002011-11-30T09:31:45.845-06:00

One of the great myths of adoption, at least in the last 30 years, has been that of the "reunion."  This belief that when a child comes of age, and maturity, they will search and find the biological roots that they yearn for.  This has been one of the selling points for the industry since my time.  This belief, while discouraged, that it would happen. When I was finally forced into the

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-51253593059443998352011-11-29T14:27:00.001-06:002011-11-29T14:44:18.111-06:00

I have, as one of the DLS's of the adoption community, had a long time to consider the practice of keeping a relationship secret from people that we supposedly love.  Today, on First Mother Forum,  there was a beautiful posting about some of the stuff that occurs and a bit of the pain it causes.... but the responses, barring my own, appear yet again to be from almost exclusively adoptees.  Which

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-52825590146346401232011-11-28T08:32:00.001-06:002011-11-28T09:11:00.889-06:00

It is sad... truly sad.  Our country, built on the backs of the working class: farmers, factory workers, washer women, lumberjacks.... Our country is now catering to the very smallest margin of people.  People who probably can't do the simplest things - believe me, I was a housekeeper for a number of years and know this is true! Over on Motherhood Deleted a statement was made - a huge statement

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-91497203610486654572011-11-27T11:57:00.001-06:002011-11-27T12:05:18.395-06:00

Alrighty then!  So, my brother has been here since Wednesday night and it has been pretty good.  I did the food... kind of my thing.  And, in my usual self-critique I was hypercritical of the outcome.  But everyone said it was nice. We went walking.... that was fun until we all started getting tired and grumpy - I swear the weather here makes it easy to be a grouch.  We went walking on Black

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-4651333321000302872011-11-27T11:48:00.001-06:002011-11-27T11:56:04.296-06:00

As time passes, I realized something... A few people have stated that I put a large amount of personal stuff out there, which I find interesting.  The thing is, I really don't.  The things I talk about on here are usually common knowledge or things that I don't think need to spend time in the dark. A lot of the things about my daughter and me.... I think I write those because my daughter reads

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-24272380548224422922011-11-24T22:29:00.001-06:002011-11-24T22:29:52.768-06:00

For those that were not here, that live in my heart and who are part of my life, I have to say this: Happy Thanksgiving!  Maybe next year we can be together.  If not, as always, there is a place in my heart for all.  The table never gets full.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-46819512554428107242011-11-23T15:07:00.001-06:002011-11-23T15:30:22.007-06:00

Today, as I sat in the dentists office reading a magazine, I read an article on Michael J. Fox - who just happens to be my age.  He stated something that I found to be profound and honest: "Life is what you put into it and how much you take out of it. You put in more than is expected, and you take out less than you want....If you don't move, nothing will move with you." Michael J. Fox - June,

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-48637736191744896562011-11-23T13:43:00.001-06:002011-11-23T14:32:49.841-06:00

I do a lot of reading.  Not just about adoption, but about anything that catches my minds attention.  I guess when you are a college student you tend to do that, or maybe it is just the way my mind works.  At any rate, while reading things I have seen things change from one perspective to another, for me. I read, many years ago, a story that I believed was very relevant to my life when I was 16

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-4776649074631590772011-11-23T00:44:00.001-06:002011-11-23T00:47:16.146-06:00

Okay, it is 12:45 a.m. Wednesday.... and I am already tired!  I started today, yesterday? by teaching... for about 5 hours, my nephew.  Then cleaning with my niece.  Had some errands.  Coffee with my sister.  More errands.... Then pies.  4 pumpkin pies - 2 sugar free since I am diabetic.  2 kinds of cranberry sauce - again 1 is sugar free.... And 2 pie crusts for my sister's extremely yummy

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-41501750624264343942011-11-22T22:05:00.001-06:002011-11-23T15:06:42.410-06:00

As I pass through this mess called reunion, I spend some time reading what other mothers, adoptees and adopters write.  For a long time I did it to try to understand how to cope with reunion and how to treat or respond to my daughter.  As time passed and I did not understand any more than I did in the beginning, I started looking at things differently.  Trying to see the logic or pattern of

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-9478797385390642352011-11-22T08:36:00.001-06:002011-11-22T08:47:42.027-06:00

I am absolutely excited!  Yes, I am waiting, on pins and needles, for Wednesday night.  My brother is flying in and it will be nice to see him.  He always brings a laugh and a lot of love. I guess that is weird coming from someone that didn't have much family life, well, no family life past age 12 and until my daughter was 1.  But hey, for the first 12 years of my life I was the middle child (

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-44391347238978722972011-11-21T17:11:00.001-06:002011-11-21T17:15:36.753-06:00

Okay, so today, between dealing with boy education and cleaning... I took the time and made baklava - YAY!  I had tried many, many years ago and it was awful... Today, it came out beautiful! The entirety of the recipe came from food.com, the reviews - numbering over 50 - were so positive, I thought "what the heck"  and drove on.  So, after chopping nuts, making a positively decadent sauce, I put

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-81009973040765378872011-11-20T18:34:00.000-06:002011-11-20T18:34:35.458-06:00

This link leads to an informative and the most complete informational page I have seen yet. Please read it - it is important.[Birth Mother,] First Mother Forum: Thinking of Placing Your Baby for Adoption? Think very hard.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-49048083897864266212011-11-20T11:36:00.001-06:002011-11-21T08:33:15.641-06:00

Well, normally I am gearing up for the Season.... rapidly producing handmade, considered with love and care, gifts for all.  Preparing packages for shipping.  Generally I walk around humming, baking, cooking and with a silly little smile. I prepare gifts for grandsons that I will never meet - shipping them anonymously... and gifts for the one grandson that almost has a clue who I am - who makes

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-20898591175003434112011-11-19T21:12:00.001-06:002011-11-19T21:20:30.355-06:00

For the first time from the initial film, I was impressed.  The story line, which was weak in the last film, grew with the blossoming of characters that had originally been somewhat over looked. First, there is more understanding of the connection between the heroine and the wolf boy.... The logic behind the entirety of behaviors is clear and concise for the first time. Second, if anyone

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-70804199512637970232011-11-19T21:02:00.001-06:002011-11-19T21:11:26.936-06:00

While I am not a fan of gore, I did totally love "The 300" and since this movie was by the same folks, I thought "cool!"  So, off I went. The characters were totally interesting and well acted.  Theseus was played  by Henry Cavill. His character was totally believable since he is not one of those pretty boys, but not bad looking either.  Nice looking, every man type of guy (at least to me).  He

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-19507173277057793132011-11-19T20:54:00.001-06:002011-11-19T21:01:09.964-06:00

Around here, dashing through the snow can take on a whole new meaning.  Definitely so..... Today, in an effort to mellow my own emotional response to some very irrational stuff, I took myself off to see two movies (reviews to come).  The weather was overcast and bloody cold.  But then the cold has been here a while. As I came out of the theater, I look at the truck's windshield and took a heavy

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-13105520146598806132011-11-18T12:57:00.001-06:002011-11-18T12:57:28.843-06:00

It's funny, I write about adoption and my blog gets totally hammered with hits.  I write a poem, maybe a few... I write about foster care and almost no one will read it.  I noticed on a couple of other blogs that have posted foster stuff - no comments or rare comments and then usually nothing. People wonder why foster kids have such a rough way to go.... Like this month - good ol' Adoptember.  

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-19549236252915474952011-11-18T12:28:00.001-06:002011-11-19T21:22:33.815-06:00

You watch and gloat as I bleed, Your eyes constantly on my life, You never stop, You will not leave, You love watching me, Watching me as I bleed. Your laughter at my pain, Rings through my soul, Never knowing when, You will poke another hole, Your voice makes me cringe, My fear you seem to love, But most of all, From Silent eyes, You spend time, Watching me as I bleed. What happens when, If by

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-18623949887586594662011-11-17T22:02:00.001-06:002011-11-17T22:03:29.463-06:00

I knew you before we met, Your smile was painted in my heart, Your laughter rang in my life, You were always there. I knew your name before you breathed, Your heart pounding with mine, Your thoughts shared with me, You shared it all. I knew you the moment you existed, Who you were, What your name was, You were mine.... I was yours.... (c) Lori Trevino 11-17-2011

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-17057064958236071772011-11-17T14:10:00.001-06:002011-11-17T14:19:05.383-06:00

Another blogger wrote about how children are entitled to a name, from birth.  And it surprises me that it doesn't always happen.  After all, it is important.  It gives the baby identity, even if they don't get to keep the name.  Which I think is beyond wrong. Growing up, I always believed that names were given to you that reflected who you would be.  Like, for instance, my name means "crowned

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-75357121342019650302011-11-15T12:14:00.001-06:002011-11-15T12:14:47.629-06:00

I realize this is two days late.... I wasn't sure if I was going to say it.... So, with all the love that I can give, may your year be full of joy - Happy Birthday, Matthew!

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-67084365945783595202011-11-15T12:13:00.001-06:002011-11-15T12:13:32.420-06:00

   He was getting old and paunchy, and his hair was falling fast as he sat around the legion, telling stories of their past. Of war that he once fought in and the deeds that he had done. In his exploits with his buddies, they were heroes, everyone!  And tho sometimes to his neighbours, his tales became a joke. All his buddies listened quietly, for they knew of where he spoke.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-85128716758331250532011-11-15T08:15:00.001-06:002011-11-15T08:42:28.502-06:00

There seems to be a dearth of perceptions in adoption that cloud the average mind and thought process.  One of the most confusing ones is the perception that the costs have risen over the years.  But, like all things, perceptions are not what is reality. In the world of the average person, the costs from 1960 to today seem to have risen exponentially.  While this is partially correct, it is

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-22395883192716384102011-11-15T07:14:00.001-06:002011-11-15T07:22:29.595-06:00

Waking up in the silence of the early morning is nice.  The cats purring and asking me "mom, where's our treat?" gentle and insistent, reminds me that I have someone here that needs me.  I laugh as I look into the turtle's tank and she is on the bottom, one back foot stretched behind her and one front stretched out in front.... she is such a silly! Every day, as I wake, wondering if I actually

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-14833402746945742272011-11-14T07:56:00.001-06:002011-11-14T09:01:07.715-06:00

Now, while I am not an adoptee, I was indeed a foster child.  In fact, I was a foster child for long enough to have some personality changes that make me a bit different from my actual family, I get that adoption must make some differences in my adult personality.  Changes that make me just a bit "off" with my family.  But does that make my family include a lot of people that were also foster

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-6024089874669626342011-11-11T12:12:00.001-06:002011-11-11T12:22:32.204-06:00

Living in foster care is like walking through a minefield.  You never know what is going to explode under you.  I know.  For a lot of people there are stories.... lots of them.  For foster children, there are truths and facts..... more than lots.  Here is something that is what happened in a foster home... while I lived there: I am glad I am too old.  Usually I am the first one that gets touched

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-81120122952471685092011-11-11T00:37:00.001-06:002011-11-11T01:01:21.201-06:00

I always know when someone doesn't like me or thinks that they can save me from my life or is flat lying to me.  I think it is a hold over from foster care.  I remember, sometimes, I would have my garbage bag under the bed from day one.... Sitting there staring at the carpet... I waited for the social worker.  I knew she was coming soon.  No one said anything, but that feeling had been creeping

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-20222748164997355162011-11-09T19:19:00.003-06:002011-11-09T19:19:50.757-06:00

Today something happened that slapped me dead in the face.  You see, because of a number of serious health issues I have had disability - for exactly 2 years.  Surgery that has helped me lose weight has resolved some of them.... those that won't actually require yet more surgery - like my back, my knees, etc.  But, the Government has decided that I am "able" to work. Now, while I have been

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-56860889216258634202011-11-09T10:33:00.000-06:002011-11-09T10:33:09.160-06:00

It's funny.  Since my husband passed - died, whatever - I have learned that life is what it is.  Nothing can undo what was done. When I learned that, I learned that I can't do a damn thing to help my daughter.  She is on her own.  It is up to her to either live happy, whole and with control of what is in her world ... or.... she can continue the path she has taken.  Either way, I can't do

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-57074204207086410312011-11-09T09:49:00.001-06:002011-11-09T09:49:47.676-06:00

Yesterday, no the day before, I finally got my truck on the road.  Which, as it turns out is a good thing.... Yesterday winter began its frantic shift back into my life. So this morning - this happened.... The cold white stuff is back in my life... for the next 6 months.  This started about 3 hours ago with a very mellow falling.... the white specs are actually snow flakes big enough, and

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-55185499363360700202011-11-08T19:14:00.001-06:002011-11-08T19:14:39.877-06:00

Okay, so, I had to really think about this.... to stop and calm down before I even considered writing this blog entry. Today, at a function for home schooled kids, I was in a position that I truly hate.  One of the parents was an adopter.  Not an adoptive parent, an adopter.  Let me explain. The group from the surrounding area had testing to do for the public school system.  It is a

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-34122802942974816592011-11-07T17:55:00.001-06:002011-11-07T17:55:09.009-06:00

Well, my truck is back on the road - new transmission and all is well... Today!  YAY! I got my eyes checked - no changes - YAY! Tonight it snows..... CRAP! Yep, just in time.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-23444447422163955842011-11-07T08:16:00.000-06:002011-11-07T08:16:18.310-06:00

Friday we celebrated the last of the Harvest holidays - Samhain, what most people call Halloween.  My niece set it up and I shared some of my things..... The food was GREAT! The decor' was lovely! We had a lot of fun.  We bobbed for apples ..... Without the tree of course..... LOL! And we played..... Pin the Hat on the Witch! There were prizes and laughs... food and

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-69949032861553498492011-11-03T14:27:00.001-05:002011-11-03T14:27:30.293-05:00

A lot of people have a belief that seems to be one of those "stereotypes" of what the term "unconditional love" means.  The belief that you must completely believe in and support and be there for a person .... no matter what.... that is a stereotype. Unconditional love, the love that is there, no matter what happens in life, no matter what you do, say or behave like is not that stereotype.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-44213450700843578752011-11-03T11:59:00.000-05:002011-11-03T11:59:36.607-05:00

There is one thing that the entire adoption community agrees on - the language of adoption is all wrong.  There is another that NO ONE in the adoption community can agree on - the attitude of adoption/adoptees/mothers/adopters is right.  Both statements are right, depending on the point of view.  Point of view, in adoption doesn't just include the adopted person, the mother, and the adopter.  It

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-47392557088834279042011-11-02T10:21:00.002-05:002011-11-02T10:22:02.837-05:00

A lot of people say things like "she/he made me do it" and any number of other excuses that put the responsibility of their own actions off on another.  I know that I do, at times, after all, I am human.  The truth of the matter is that no one can "make" anyone do anything.  Yes, there are laws that create codes of conduct for all of us, but it does not "make" us do a thing. When I chose not to

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-36971065369442518342011-11-01T22:58:00.002-05:002011-11-01T22:58:45.713-05:00

actually, I knew it was going to go.  The docs have been trying to get me into an OR for like a year.  I just don't want to trade in my knee. So, I walk a little too far and BOOM! icing the knee.... Today was totally mellow.  I have thought of something fun to give my family/loved ones for the holidays.... which makes me happy.  And I can ship it in a couple of weeks.... What a hoot. Now,

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-3811354520933893932011-11-01T22:56:00.001-05:002011-11-01T22:56:30.327-05:00

Okay, so today was the first day of adoptember... my least favorite time of the year.  Not because of the bull crap that goes into idiotic speeches and poorly thought out "attempts" to help by politicians, but because it hails yet another year in which foster children will end up staying in care.... forever. The government made it easier to adopt - from overseas.  But then they don't really

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-73487761891112887342011-11-01T09:43:00.000-05:002011-11-01T09:43:23.179-05:00

My memories are, sometimes, spotty with regard to my teen years... and my young life.  I don't know if this is normal, but it is for me.  If someone brings up something, like my mother baking tons of bread on Sunday's .... I remember the bread dough being left to rise while we went to church and the smell of the bread coming out of the oven..... every Sunday. I also know that for a very long

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-45561388508886619822011-10-31T21:14:00.000-05:002011-10-31T21:14:05.872-05:00

Okay - so, most of tonight is gone and Samhain is almost over..... which is fine.  I had only like 6 trick or treaters - sad, since I remember years when there were so many kids out you could almost not drive through any neighborhood... no one had to go to stores or businesses, kids went in groups and you knew better than to eat anything out of your bag until you got home and mom and dad went

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-70083053139041246042011-10-31T09:14:00.001-05:002011-10-31T09:19:56.340-05:00

This is the last of the harvest, the turning of the year.  It is marked by being the day that almost everyone considers the veil between one life and another is very thin.  The pumpkins are being harvested, as well as other winter squashes.  The grain has long since been ground for storage and canning is almost done. It is, the beginning of tomorrow. For all of those that celebrate, may the

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-50949844276361066582011-10-30T21:08:00.003-05:002011-10-30T21:08:45.934-05:00

I watch her as she sleeps, Her eyes dancing behind the lids, Her lips parted, Wandering around the house, Playing with the cats, Looking at the kitchen she hates to clean, I won't remember when I wake. (c) Lori Trevino 10/30/2011

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-15252421358714266352011-10-29T23:03:00.000-05:002011-10-29T23:03:24.957-05:00

I love to cook.  For years I didn't realize why I love cooking so much.  Which sounds bizarre, but I am not even a taster when I cook.  You know that temptation to stick your finger in the batter stuff... nope, I don't. So, you would think, that I must like to eat.... which is true to a certain extent.  I am not fond of over-eating and find it scary that I used to do it frequently without

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-21573973962028249052011-10-29T19:50:00.000-05:002011-10-29T19:50:10.251-05:00

Okay, something just annoys the hell out of me.  Something that a couple of people have asked me and some have said something about - okay, one has said something about. First, I think that when you choose to crap all over another person - publicly - and demand that they not say this or that, you kind of negate your rights to be listened to.  I want that understood. Second, when you read or

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-20556211052963907682011-10-27T23:50:00.003-05:002011-10-27T23:50:23.152-05:00

The bed is cold this year, All of the warmth left with you, Solid and real, You slept there, Warm, loving, But the bed is cold this year, Winter comes. (c) Lori Trevino 11/27/2011

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-50202223044343708502011-10-27T23:48:00.000-05:002011-10-27T23:48:04.945-05:00

I wonder, seriously, how many adoptees end up either being passed on to relatives (adopted family relatives) or given to institutions or sent to boarding schools or put in foster care..... I have seen this a few times and it makes me wonder.  My daughter said she was in foster care for a few years.  Another blogger talks about how her daughter was simply given to an institution or school of some

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-73818108186540634702011-10-27T19:19:00.001-05:002011-10-27T19:19:06.351-05:00

Today - rain, hail and to the north - SNOW! Winter - CRAP I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-20343994697181245942011-10-27T09:35:00.001-05:002011-10-27T09:35:56.294-05:00

I have the most bizarre dreams..... truly weird.  Last night I dreamed about my husband (kind of normal for me) being there and then being gone.  I also dreamed about my daughter, around age 8, being dragged in and out of my house yet again by the social wreckers. I was attending something, some kind of professional group, expanding my base and meeting people, when I ran into the social worker.

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-67889898418088932272011-10-26T21:26:00.001-05:002011-10-26T21:26:04.064-05:00

Your open eyes were closed, The day you took me home, Afraid to see the truth, To see your heart, To validate, The pain that day you did create, Your open eyes were closed, One day you will awake. (c) Lori Trevino 10/26/2011

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-8343367452346631782011-10-26T21:23:00.001-05:002011-10-26T21:23:11.477-05:00

The shadows crossed your life, Filling you with pain, Living in the dark, Never the one, Never the perfect, Always less than..... (c) Lori Trevino 10/26/2011

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-81718013862546067272011-10-26T16:40:00.000-05:002011-10-26T16:40:09.348-05:00

I am about to puke.  I have often wondered at the reasons for a lot of comments by people that tend to think they need to create confusion and anger.  So, for me, I have something to say: At no point are adopters and biological parents contending for the love of a child.  Even a grown up adoptee has to know that it is impossible to, for a person that truly loves another, contend for the love of

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-328470208882928402.post-38242062707192345782011-10-26T10:44:00.000-05:002011-10-26T10:44:02.127-05:00

So, last night, after over 30 hours of insane belly pain, I ended up in the ER.  Which sucks since I haven't had to go there in over a year.  So, I start out with mild pain just before dinner at my sister's house the night before last..... By the time I got home I was thinking that maybe I had a surgical rupture....then nah, not even! I made apple-butter in the middle of the night.... since

Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com3